Richmond's Bird
by Deidra Carmichael
Summary: Have you ever wondered what Richmond's girlfriend will be like? It all started when Jen and he are invited to a party. Jen complains of having no beau while Richmond is thrilled with having one. It's up to Moss and Roy to find out who she is.


"My gosh I have the worst of luck!" exclaimed Jen entering the office. Usually Jen would at least say 'hi' to her friends Moss and Roy before dumping her problems on them. But today was different and the two confused guys knew that so far. They exchanged looks at each other that showed they had no idea what was going on. Jen decided to clear up the confusion by saying, "Sorry guys. It's just that I've been invited to this party and I'm gonna be the only girl there without a date. you wanna know why?" As Moss was about to speak Jen interrupted, "It's because my boyfriend canceled on me at last minute's notice to be with some other hussy." Although Roy knew Jen was in a predicament he decided to make things lighter. "Well Jen you know Prince Charming will wait for ya," said Roy pretending to slick his hair back. This made everyone laugh even a thick voice coming from the corner of the office. Could it be? Well it was no other than Richmond coming toward the threesome with a bright look on his face.

"What a great day it is! How are all of you?" said Richmond with the unusual perkiness nobody expected him to express. Roy thought it was impossible for their goth friend to be in such a good mood. Moss thought he went mad. Jen thought it would be the end of the world if he kept acting like this. "So Richmond, my old chap, what's got you in such a good mood?" asked Moss. Richmond didn't know where to start. Everything seemed to be going well and he wasn't feeling introverted anymore. Plus he had recently gotten a girl to go with him to the same party as Jen's. "Well, if you must know, I've got a girlfriend." "A girl?" asked Jen "A bird?" asked Roy. "A babe?" asked Moss. "Yes, it's all true. She's so great! Picks ya up when you're feeling down in my opinion." "So when do we get to meet this girl of yours?" asked Jen. "You're going to see her tonight at the party. Still, Moss and Roy will have to wait." Roy then complained, "Ah come on. I'm extremely curious. And you know what happens when I get curious." He gave Richmond puppy eyes. The amused man just laughed and said, "Well, if you wanna know a little more about her, she's down to Earth and I don't want to lose her." In Richmond's case he'd have to try very hard to not lose a girl. In fact, he's lucky he had gotten one in the first place. After all, not many girls were looking for a guy who's introverted and stares off into space when he talks.

"Do you mean like lose her as in a breakup?" said Roy sounding serious at first, "Or lose as in you lost your car keys, you're stuck in a hurricane during rush hour, and shouting 'Blimey! This is bloody murder!' "

Now Richmond could live with a few jokes here and there but not too many. Otherwise, there would be an imbalance in his melancholic personality. Besides, Roy sounded like a complete wally at the moment.

"Now Roy you're being utterly silly. Who would think of such a thing in only an amount of seconds?" said Moss leading onto another joke he had in mind. "However, I wonder if this conversation is taking place at all. What if we don't even exist. Are we figments of our imagination? Come on, Roy gimme an answer!"Moss then shook Roy's shoulders and the two boyish men sat there as if they were puzzled.

"You catching my drift, Roy?" "Uh.. no. I was thinking about Guitar Hero." The two then started laughing hysterically

Jen interrupted their goofing off fest, "You people really know how to act so stupidly when love's concerned." Jen didn't want to have this conversation turned into a joke, "I'm sorry Richmond if they turned your day upside down with their madness."

"Oh, it's OK Jen," responded Richmond. "They were only having fun. Anyways I've got other things to do for now. See you around."

* * *

While Richmond was back in his room and Jen was on her lunch break Moss and Roy decided to snoop around Jen's office. They were very curious on who Richmond's beau was. If there was a way the two could see her they would be satisfied. Moss then found the party invitation attached to Jen's calendar. He read it aloud: What's going on? A fancy dress party. Where? At the Gatsby Hall. Address: 247 Bankers Street. RSVP by March 10th.

Roy exclaimed with amazement, "Moss, that's it! We're going to the crash the party and spy on 'our lovely couple.' " Moss wasn't always into poking in people's privacy. Yet this case was important- a once in a life time chance to see Richmond with a girl. "What a great idea. But we need to find costumes too. After all it is fancy dress." The two decided on what to wear. Roy studied the picture of a Geisha girl on Jen's back wall and he got an idea.

"I know what we can do. We can dress up as a Geisha and Samurai. That way Jen ad Richmond won't be able to recognize us."

Moss liked the idea very much and agreed to it. He then joked, "Or maybe we can dress up Chiquita Banana's singing La Cucaracha! Arriba."

The two guys then broke out into dance in their office singing La Bamba. These two didn't care what other people thought of them so they were free to look like idiots. Later they decided to go to the local costume store to prepare for the party

* * *

When arriving at the party Moss and Roy made their way through the front entrance and passed many people with creative costumes. Many others admired their own costumes. The two guys smiled, bowed, and said, "May the swords be with you." Yes, they were at it again- always saying one-liners and turning serious situations into comedy acts. It was what they lived for and wouldn't stop for anybody.

Soon Moss and Roy decided to look for Richmond or Jen. Jen was easily spotted in her flapper-style costume. Her date, which they assumed she probably found spur of the moment, was dressed as Zorro and looked very interesting.

"Dark hair, pale skin... Moss! Jen's date is Johnny Depp."said Roy getting his friend's attention

"Well, I must say you may be right, old pal. Let's get his autograph later on. But for now let's find Richmond."

"Hey look, there's Richmond and his bird," said Roy pointing to a goth couple in the corner of the room.

Moss decided to be the one to say, "Hey Richmond! We finally get to meet her."

The man turned around and said, "Who are you and what do you want with my babe?"

The man was definitely not Richmond and the two fellows decided to leave before anything got messy. They searched around some more until they felt all hope was lost. "Well, Richmond's nowhere to be found so I guess we can see what Jen's up to... from a distance though." said Roy leading Moss back to where their perky flapper- of- a- friend was. Apparently when they found her, Jen and her man were doing a Charleston mixed with a Fox Trot to the song "Won't you Charleston With Me" from the play, "The Boyfriend." According to the song played, the DJ must've liked show tunes.

"Wow! I didn't know Mr. Depp could dance." said Roy amazed.

"Neither did I, Roy. Neither did I." replied Moss in awe of the dancing.

At the near end of the song Jen's beau tossed her up into the air and caught her perfectly. Thus, she was the center of attention at this time. Moss and Roy couldn't believe their eyes now. They thought Jen wouldn't be able to either. They decided to congratulate the man after the party was over. They assumed too many comments wouldn't be good for the man's social health.

" I can't believe they fell for it," said Jen still dancing with her partner.

"I know! I would've expected some sort of suspicion by now."

"So do you think we should tell them later on?"

"No, let's keep up the suspense. It's their choice to find out or not."

What on earth could they be talking about? This was the question both Moss and Roy had going through their minds. it wasn't until a moment later that Roy actually decided to voice his opinion on the whole thing.

"OK, either Jen's been offered a role in some new movie or Mr. Depp has offered to make their relationship public."

Moss then responded, "Roy, don't jump to conclusions. There's probably some different explanation. We just have to find out about it for ourselves."

"I guess so. Hey, why don't we get celebs to go after us?"

Moss then decided to inform Roy on his personality. "Well, let's see, Roy. Most girls go for high class men who don't work for IT. Especially the one's whose catchphrase is, 'Have you tried turning it on and off again?' "

" Let's just see what Jen's up to," said Roy a little fed up. The two guys then decided to watch every move their "lovely couple" made- from a distance of course.

* * *

"I've had a lovely time tonight. Thank you so much," said Jen almost bidding farewell to her masked-gentleman-friend.

"So did I," replied the man taking off his mask to give her a kiss. "Jen, instead of freezing on my porch all this time, wpuld you like to come in and listen to my new Cradle of Filth album?"

Jen wasn't to the whole goth band thing so she decided to pass on it. "Oh, no thank you. But I'll be happy to see you tomorrow. I really must be going." She kissed her masked lover back and headed back home with so many thoughts running through her head. It was then and there that Jen had started thinking of how her date hadn't been chosen at the last minute at all. The first day Jen opened the door into his life she knew there would be a place for him in her heart. In return the man had healed her wounds of a borken heart- not to mention a cut on her hand. Yes, he wasn't much to look at but had a kind nature about him. Of course, Jen couldn't breathe a word of this to her IT members, for they wouldn't understand.

* * *

The next day Jen entered her office as she usually did. She was about to greet Roy and Moss but they were playing a game. It was something like "Concentration" where you try adding on to someone elses word category. Apparently it centered Johnny Depp related things.

"Pirates of the Caribbean." shouted Roy

"Corpse Bride." retorted Moss

"Edward Scissor Hands."

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

"Guys, what are you doing?" asked Jen out of nowhere. This was the time where her two friends questioned her so much it was ridiculous.

"Did you get his autograph?" asked Roy

"Did offer you to be in a film with him?" asked Moss with curiosity

"Does he really act like Captain Jack Sparrow in reality?"

"Boys, seriously, what on Earth are you talking about?" Now Jen was really confused. When did she have the time did she have to meet Johnny Depp? Apparently sometime, according to Moss and Roy's opinions.

"Well then, Jen it seems that you have no respect for Mr. Depp. You don't even want to remember when you last saw him." said Roy biting his tongue afterward wondering if Jen would catch onto the fact that he crashed the party. However, this didn't stop Moss from inquiring his friend.

"Yeah, Jen. It seems that you either have had a recent shock treatment or you are hiding the fact that Mr. Depp got to meet you."

"Seriously, guys. I have no clue of what you're talking about." Jen then left to her room of the office to get everything straightened out. Maybe Moss and Roy needed some time to get their heads back together on right. It was then that Richmond arrived "fashionably late."

"Hullo, fellas. What goes on?" asked Richmond making his grand entrance into the office.

"Oh, not much Richmond. Except for the fact you are in a jolly good mood this morning."said Moss noticing that this was the second day in a row his usually dark-minded friend was altogether cheery.

"Yes, you are quite right. Well, I guess that happens once you've been with the girl of your dreams." With that being said Richmond made his way happily to his red-doored room humming a song.

Roy and Moss decided to spy on Richmond to see why he was in such a good mood. Yet the asnwers were on already in front of them. There was the Zorro mask on Richmonds floor. It was the same one Jen's date wore. It seemed that the case was solved and the cat was out of the bag. Moss and Roy now knew the answers to the mystery of Richmond's bird.


End file.
